just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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