I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
