then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
