Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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