Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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