I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
