At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she woke up with a sticky ear
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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