When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
