Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love having hate sex.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
