This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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