what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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