i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
