Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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