Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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