You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
