After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
