It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
