Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
