I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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