you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found puke in my bra..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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