Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
