Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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