Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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