Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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