I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize