My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
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When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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