i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
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he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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