I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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