it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
