my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
