Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize