i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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