is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
