is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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