I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
