i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
