so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
