uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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