anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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