No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
