All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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