I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize