bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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