All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
