David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
