pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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