Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
