thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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