Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
