Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
