Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize