Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
