What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
