If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
where are my eyebrows?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
