Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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