Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
