Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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