fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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