i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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