she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you would pick up someone in the library
Do vagina's smell?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
