ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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