If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
